Soundtrack: Dyslexic and proud

So you can count! Those math conundrums spooned into your Facebook feed…well I’m developing a pathological hatred of their elitist, arithmetising tosh. So you can count, whooooo-hoo, I can put one foot in front of the other and not fall over *. They are offensive to a dyslexic. Don't laugh, this is serious. Political correctness stipulates a positive plethora of peoples we must not upset, but those of us blind to numbers, phah, you can wave a string of them in our faces and mock, bring a country band and Morris dancers and slap us with vegetables and no one in authority bats an eyelid as we cower with our fingers and toes exposed. I know people who can do lots of things, some rather specialist things, but they aren't bragging about their talents with quizzes on Facebook. I can balance pizza boxes on my head and fashion hats out of fondues. Where's the quiz for that? There is nothing else for it. It's time to reinvigorate my political ambitions. No more unnecessary counting. No more show-boat multiplication. No more divisive division. Who’s with me? I feel suddenly empowered. I think I will wear a suit and my rosette today, and let no Morris Dancer get in my way.

* although granted only sometimes.